Konstantin Tovstiadi - Guest Star Appearance

Kitty Pants: NSF Grants 2010-2011

nospam@example.com (Konstantin Tovstiadi) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:57:25 -0400

Since I haven't written much myself lately, I am yielding the floor to the greatest cat in the universe - meet Kitty Pants

The Norman Society of Felines (NSF) has received its fiscal year allocation as part of the economic stimulus plan and is pleased to announce the 2010-2011 call for grant applications in the following research areas:

- Alternative sources of kibble supply / Reducing America’s dependence on foreign kibble
- Mechanics of kitchen cabinet doors
- Unified game theory of strings and marbles
- Avian reconnaissance using Twitter
- Decision-making algorithms for small rodent capture
- Comparative studies of scratch resistance characteristics of household surfaces

Update: Thanks to your generous support at givekibble.org, we are able to sponsor four additional areas of research:

- Strategies for maximizing claw-induced damage during veterinary visits
- Optimal directionality and velocity of fur licking
- Effects of purring on owner's willingness to disburse supplementary kibble (preference given to longitudinal studies)
- Three dimensional pre-modeling of optimal limb placement in tight quarters (experimental approaches are encouraged; preference will be given to proposals that use shipping containers, bags and furniture)

Stray applicants are eligible to receive Kitty Pants Memorial Kibble Fellowship for the duration of the grant

Disclaimer: Awarded funds cannot be used in whole or in part for the purchase of kibble for the PIs / co-PIs and/or members of their family.

There are no good places to dance in this city

nospam@example.com (Konstantin Tovstiadi) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 00:31:45 -0400

Following the lead of Jessica Bogard's cartoon, here comes another guest start appearance - this time a poem from my best friend R.E. Davis, in which we find that despite being voted one of the best small towns in the US to live in, Norman is not without its shortcomings.

there are no good
places
to dance in this city
If I wanted to
rub my dick against
someone
I would hire a whore
or call your sister
Where are the mariachis?
where can I
go and find
not the pulse of industry
but the pulse
of
love and laughter
the beat of hearts
and souls
inflamed
with rhythm
and salsa

The Tale of the Journal Impact Factor

nospam@example.com (Konstantin Tovstiadi) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:12:40 -0400

Finally, a guest star here - my colleague Jessica Bogard, a PhD student at the department of Communication here at the University of Oklahoma. Et voilâ!